I have been asked by a friend to put the following experience into my blog. It happened in August at the Memphis International Airport. We were sending Carey off to boot camp, and encountered a slight problem.
FYI: Did you know that if you are over the age of 65, Tennessee does not require you to have your picture taken to keep your drivers license? My mother and father both took advantage of this little perk. What I did NOT know is detailed below.
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August 2, 2007: A high point in our day occurred when we were permitted to walk with Carey to his boarding gate. Families of military leaving town are now allowed to accompany their loved ones through security gates and wait with them before they board the plane. We gave our IDs to the people at the check-in desk and were issued a ‘pretend’ boarding pass – just to get us through security. We thought all was going well because everyone passed the “security” test at check-in. The trouble began just before we entered the rat maze in front of the Nuclear Metal Detectors when The Security Lady looked at Mother’s driver’s license. Did ANYONE in this family know that Mother had SCOTCH-TAPED a picture of herself over the place where the official picture on her license is supposed to be????? For God’s sake, I think it may have been a picture of her at the lake!!!
Well, that did not fly with The Security Lady. Mother and I began scrounging desperately through her wallet, giving The Security Lady all sorts of IDs. They don’t take Sam’s Club cards, in case anyone was wondering, even though a grainy picture is right there on the back! After what seemed like hours, but was apparently only a minutes, The Security Lady called for The Security Man who, obviously thinking our Mother was terrorist material, loudly stated that we should not worry – Mother could pass to the gate after being given an INTENSIVE SECURITY SCREENING.
FYI: Intensive Security Screening involves being placed inside a glass container that strangely resembles a large Fish Tank. There is nothing else inside this Fish Tank, so I can only assume that it there to keep you from running away, as if Mother could run! Security Lady Two begins to move her magic wand over Mother’s body in the Fish Tank because Mother set off the Nuclear Metal Detectors when she entered. Amid all the confusion no one remembered that both of Mother’s hips have been replaced with METAL rods. Security Lady Two did not find humor in the fact that we failed to mention it.
Mother was then taken aside to an area where Security Lady THREE scanned her for a second time and PATTED HER DOWN. Security Lady THREE also took some sort of wet-wipe and rubbed it all over Mother’s shoes. We don’t know why so don’t ask....
In spite of the confusion, we did find humor in the moment and all realize that these folks are only doing their jobs to protect us from the REAL BAD GUYS.
Happy Landing!